ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I could make wine with my vomit
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
