you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
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