At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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