and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
