Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
