And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
