I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
