thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
