You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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