i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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