yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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