I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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