wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
