This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Life is so much better after having sex.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
