I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
