This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
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