In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
