This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
