Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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