Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
accomplished twins. life is a go
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
