My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
