at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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