turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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