this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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