He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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