38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
