Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
