I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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