i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We're too hungover to prance.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
