she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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