the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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