its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
