I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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