I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Randomize
