how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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