girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
