Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
