i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
