in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
