I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize