Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
