Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
These tits shall not be calmed
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
