I wanna passion pit in your ass
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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