Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
