And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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