Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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