I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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