he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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