Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Randomize
