thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
