Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
