That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
