i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
