OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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