think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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