You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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