wakey wakey hands off snakey
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
