at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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