You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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