Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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