Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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